


Through the years we all will be together

by kmo



Category: Kushiel's Legacy - Jacqueline Carey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family Dynamics, Gen, Kinda Fluffy, Misses Clause Challenge, Yuletide 2012, Yuletide Treat, holiday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-24
Updated: 2012-12-24
Packaged: 2017-11-22 07:11:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/607188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kmo/pseuds/kmo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“In one she joined forces with Anafiel Delaunay, and stood <em>in loco parentis</em>  to me, a relationship as fraught with difficult tensions as the worst possibilities I feared for Imriel.”- <em>Kushiel’s Avatar</em></p><p>AU: On her first Longest Night as a pupil of Anafiel Delaunay, Phèdre meets his consort, Melisande Shahrizai.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through the years we all will be together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GVSpurlock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GVSpurlock/gifts).



> I couldn't resist your prompt of Delaunay family dynamics with a dash of Melisande thrown in- because I love these characters and the unlikely family they form together. I wish I could have found a way to incorporate Barquiel, too. Joie to you and happy Yuletide!

I will never forget the first Longest Night I passed in Anafiel Delaunay’s household. For it was on that most magical of nights I first met his lady, the incomparable Melisande Shahrizai. I had lived in Lord Delaunay’s townhouse in the City of Elua for the better part of a year, and I had yet to meet the woman who was to be my _de facto_ foster mother. She had been away inspecting her holdings in Kusheth, though Alcuin suspected her true mission had somewhat to do with covertcy. In the hallways of Delaunay’s home, Melisande’s name was spoken with reverence and fear by the servants, caution by Alcuin, and fond amusement by her consort. Such mixed reviews only served to further incite my girlish curiosity.

I had begun to despair that I would never lay eyes upon my elusive mistress. One day toward the close of the year, Delaunay laid down the perfumed missive he had been reading and announced nonchalantly, “Melisande will be here within a fortnight. In time for us all to pass the Longest Night together.” From that moment onward, the townhouse was thrown into a frenzy. Cupboards were aired, silver polished, and the whips and chains of the pleasure chamber oiled and buffed to perfection. Or so I was told by Guy, for you can be assured I was not allowed inside the seraglio at the tender age of one and ten, _anguisette_ or no. I do not mean to imply that Lord Delaunay kept a slatternly household; in fact we were quite neat and fastidious. It seemed to me that like the Winter Queen at year’s end, our household had been slumbering, waiting for the touch of the Sun Prince, Melisande Shahrizai, to transform us anew.

I myself awaited Lady Shahrizai’s arrival in a state of prickling anticipation. In addition to the anxieties any child might feel about meeting a stranger who was to fulfill the role of parent, I had to endure the needling of Kushiel’s Dart. I may not have known much about my foster mother, but I knew she was a Shahrizai and a scion of Kushiel. That information alone was enough to quicken my blood into a state of I knew not what.

Such agitation made it altogether difficult to concentrate on my lessons. I found Tiberian history dull at the best of times. When I asked Lord Delaunay if my time would not be better spent studying the ways of pleasure instead of memorizing the names of dead Tiberian imperators, he assured me that history provided valuable insight into human nature at its best and worst. “An empire may rise or fall based on one man’s…or woman’s…heart,” he said. But Lord Delaunay was of Shemhazai’s lineage and the acquisition of knowledge came as easy to him as breathing. I, however, was a creature of the Night Court, through and through- he would not fashion me into a scholar overnight.

I laid down my quill and rubbed my eyes. I glanced over at Alcuin, so diligently at work, the winter sunlight gilding his hair a shimmering silver. I had grown to love my foster brother fiercely, but that did not mean I did not sometimes feel envy that study came so naturally to him. “Alcuin, what’s she like?”

“Who?”

“Lord Delaunay’s lady.”

Alcuin placed a marker in the book he had been reading. His dark gaze seemed to lose focus and he tapped his finger to his lips, lost in thought. He looked at me and said with a note of finality, “Formidable.”

I shivered in response- for such a word seemed to hold both cruelty and magnificence in one. “Is she very beautiful?” I asked, for I had never seen a likeness.

“Dreadfully.”

“And rich?”

“They say her manor in Kusheth rivals even the palace in grandeur.”

I thought of our master and his relentless thirst for knowledge. “Is she very clever, too?" 

“Every inch as shrewd and as clever as Delaunay.” He paused a moment, then added, “Perhaps even more so.” Alcuin inhaled a deep breath and seemed to be considering whether he should say more. Finally, he said, in a tone very serious, “Have a care about her, Phèdre.”

“You think she will be cruel to me?” Ah Elua, the way my heart twisted itself in knots over such a possibility, something I dreaded and somehow longed for at the same time.

“I do not think so. She has never been cruel to me,” he said with all honesty. “But truly, I sometimes get the sense that if she ever wished to break my heart, she would know exactly the way in which to do it. Delaunay says she can discern the fault lines in another person’s soul- a gift of her Kusheline blood. I dislike it.”

I do not think I fully appreciated what Alcuin was trying to warn me of at the time. I was young and too fresh from the Court of Night Blooming Flowers, my head full of childish fancy and romance. I pressed only for those amorous details that I craved. “Are they very much in love- Lord Delaunay and Lady Shahrizai?”

Alcuin’s pretty face twisted itself into an expression that revealed he had no idea. Ah, my foster brother may have been skilled at learning foreign tongues and reciting Hellene poetry, but in Naamah’s arts, I was clearly the more advanced pupil. He said uncertainly, “Mayhap so.” 

I frowned. “It cannot be a very passionate love if he is willing to live apart from her. Delaunay does not seem at all lovelorn at his lady’s absence.”

Alcuin shrugged. “I do not think the poets write verses about the kind of love that exists between our master and mistress. Whatever passion they have is bound up in the game they play together. I would wager it is a love of the mind, not of the heart.”

A love of the mind did not sound altogether exciting to me. I had one final question. “If they are in love, why then do they not marry?”

Before Alcuin could answer me, a baritone that I recognized as Delaunay’s said wryly, “Because Melisande has two dead husbands already and I have no desire to be the third.” I turned to face my master, afraid that he would be angry with me for my impertinent questions, but I saw only laughter in his grey eyes. Not for the first time, I thought Lord Delaunay’s sense of humor passing strange.

“Forgive my questions, my lord, but I was curious.”

He stroked my curls fondly and said, “Curiosity is a sign of a healthy mind, though too much can sometimes prove dangerous, I’ve found. If I tell you my lady possesses the beauty of Cleopatra, the ambition of Alexander, and the tender cruelty of dread Lord Kushiel himself, will that satisfy?”

A woman possessed of such virtues would be formidable indeed. “It is just that I know so little of your consort. I only wish for Lady Shahrizai to approve of me…”

A teasing smile played about Lord Delauany’s lips. “I doubt Melisande could be anything less than pleased at the sight of the first _anguisette_ in living memory.” I preened to hear this, still reveling in the novelty of my nature. “Yes, I imagine she will be quite surprised to lay eyes upon you, Phèdre.”

“My lord, do you imply she does not know that I am here?" I asked, aghast.

He patted my hand reassuringly. “Ah Phèdre, you must forgive me this one impropriety. It is so rare that I can surprise Melisande. She is far too clever and chary. But I trust that she will come to care for you and you for her.”

His words did little to quell my fears; the butterflies in my stomach had transformed into hornets. But I did not forget my manners and said obligingly, “I understand, my lord.”

“Good.” Delaunay clapped his hands in great satisfaction. “Your lessons are adjourned for the day. The couturier will be here momentarily for a fitting. We three shall be turned out in our finest for my lady’s return on the Longest Night.”

***

Midafternoon on the Longest Night found me upstairs in my bedroom with Alcuin in a most unrefined posture, nose pressed up against the cold window glass, craning to get a glimpse of Lady Shahrizai’s carriage winding its way through the city streets.

“There it is. The coach and six.” Alcuin pointed to a glossy black carriage, handsomely equipped with a team of matching ebony horses. “We should go downstairs.”

I pulled away from the window and dashed after my foster brother. Lord Delaunay met us at the foot of the stairs. “Now you remember what to do.”

I nodded. My master had choreographed my introduction to her ladyship as deliberately as if it were a pantomime upon the stage. I was to wait in the wings as it were, hidden in Lord Delaunay’s study, until he called upon me to make my entrance. I was to then come bearing a posy of rare purplish-black tulips, the bulbs of which were worth their weight in gold. Delaunay had them imported from the flatlands at great expense, for they were his lady’s favorite. When I presented Lady Shahrizai with the bouquet, her eyes would meet mine and she would know me for what I was, an _anguisette_ , marked by Lord Kushiel himself.

Lord Delaunay gave my dress of claret velvet a final inspection and smoothed one of the matching ribbons that adorned my curls. He had chosen a new suit of spruce green for himself, which complemented his auburn hair quite nicely, I thought. For Alcuin, he had chosen a fine white shirt stitched with silver thread and doeskin breeches the color of the sky after a snowfall. We three gathered there like something out of a tableaux vivant, clad in all the colors of the season.

The sound of carriage wheels rolling over cobblestones sent me scurrying to my hiding place. I closed the door behind me, leaving it just a fraction ajar. It provided the merest glimpse of the foyer, where Delaunay and Alcuin stood at attention.

I heard the sound of our front door creaking open and much shuffling of feet on the newly polished floors. Servants in the black and gold livery of House Shahrizai carted large trunks into the foyer, followed by a lady’s maid bearing a bandbox and valise. Finally, a woman’s voice spoke in rich and honeyed tones, “Anafiel.”

“Welcome home, Melisande,” my master replied.

Through the gap in the door, I watched as a woman, tall and elegant, shrugged off her winter-cloak and deposited her fur-trimmed gloves into the arms of a maid. She accepted a warm towel from another servant to wipe the grime of travel from her face before embracing Lord Delaunay. Theirs was not the passionate kiss of long-parted lovers, but she laid a hand upon his face with great fondness and said, “It is good to be home.”

“It’s been passing dull without you. No one here appreciates my intrigues the way you do.”

Delaunay’s lady said nothing, merely smiled enigmatically back at him. She gestured to the large trunks that now crowded the foyer. “I come bearing gifts, volumes of them, having scavenged every library in Kusheth for references to the Master of Straits.”

A true Siovalese, Delaunay shot a hungry look at the chests of books. “My thanks for your endeavors. And what of Azzalle?”

Her ladyship’s smile grew wolfish. “Oh, most intriguing.” She pressed her body up against Delaunay’s and whispered something in his ear which set my master laughing.

“A Prince of the Blood, Melisande? Should I be jealous?’ Delaunay asked in a tone of mock concern.

“Perhaps if Baudoin had two wits to rub together, you might have cause,” she answered, wryly amused. Lady Shahrizai then swept over to where Alcuin stood. She wrapped my foster brother in her arms and bestowed upon him the kiss of greeting. “And how is our pupil coming along? Have you been keeping up with your studies while I have been away?”

Alcuin smiled and answered her in a tongue I did not understand. Skaldic, I believe. Lady Shahrizai laughed and answered him back in the same tongue. “Your progress is remarkable, Alcuin. I hope when it is time for you to serve Naamah, you will study the arts of pleasure with the same devotion.”

“Yes, my lady,” he replied dutifully.

Delaunay cleared his throat and I knew the moment of my debut was upon me. “Melisande, there is someone I would like you to meet. Phèdre, come in.”

I pushed aside the paneled walnut door of Delaunay’s study and glided in with all the grace I had been taught in Cereus House. But when I raised my eyes and took in Lady Shahrizai, I was stopped in my tracks and could go no further.  She was younger than I expected, closer in age to Alcuin and myself than she was to Lord Delaunay. But her manner was one of a woman wise beyond her years, she had none of the coquettish naiveté one might find in a noblewoman of one and twenty.I am Night-Court born and no stranger to beauty, but the woman before me outshone any courtesan of my acquaintance. Her skin was an alabaster so flawless a Camellia adept would weep with envy. Her raven hair matched the velvety petals of the tulips in my hand. And her eyes, oh sweet Kushiel, her eyes sparkled the color of the sky on a starry night. 

She arched a perfect brow. “You have taken another pupil, Anafiel.” A beat. “Without consulting me.”

“I know we had agreed to just the one. But I think you will wish to make an exception for Phèdre.”

She shook her head and smiled. “I had a letter from Fanchone. She suspected you had taken up with another woman. I suppose in a way she was right.” Lady Shahrizai beckoned me forward. “Come here, child.” 

I found I could neither move nor speak while caught within her sapphire gaze. I held out the posy to her in my trembling hand. Sensing my trepidation, she bent herself to me and accepted my bouquet. Her hand cupped my cheek with infinite tenderness and asked, “Why so afraid, little Phèdre?” And when her eyes at last saw my scarlet mote, she blinked and let out the smallest intake of breath; for that was what passed for surprise with Melisande Shahrizai. She turned to my master and said, “Anafiel, a genuine _anguisette_. Wherever did you find her?”

“Cereus House, several years ago. Phèdre was fostered there until the age of eleven. She joined us shortly after you departed for Kusheth.”

“And you kept her a secret from me all this time, you magician.” Truthfully she sounded more impressed than annoyed, which was fortunate for Lord Delaunay I thought.

Delaunay smiled like a man who had just won a hand of _Dame de Pique._ “I take it you are well pleased with the latest addition to our household.”

“Need you even ask?” Lady Shahrizai placed her hands upon my shoulders and smiled down beatifically at me. My pulse raced at her merest touch, far more than it had upon seeing the dominatrices of Mandrake House. “Well met, Phèdre.” She gathered me into her arms and ah Elua, the smell of her rich perfume and the warmth of her body against mine quite overwhelmed me. And when her soft lips met my forehead, I gasped for breath like a drowning sailor as a crimson tide dragged me out to sea, until at last the dark current pulled me under and I breathed no more.

***

I awoke to find myself tucked into bed, Alcuin in a chair by my bedside reading a book.

Alcuin smiled. “You’re awake.”

“What happened?”

“You fainted when Lady Shahrizai kissed you. Lord Delaunay carried you up here. They think it is something to do with you being an _anguisette_ and her ladyship a scion of Kushiel.”

“Oh.” My head felt heavy, but otherwise I seemed perfectly fine, my pulse having returned to normal in Lady Shahrizai’s absence. I suddenly felt embarrassed, that I may have made a poor impression upon her. “Are they angry about it?”

“No…just concerned.” I had not been Delaunay’s pupil long, but I could tell my foster brother was lying. Before I could say any more, irate voices floated through the doorway from out in the hall.

A man’s voice, apologetic; “I had no idea your presence would affect her this way. I did not think…”

Lady Shahrizai’s voice cut in, more poison than honey; “ _Thinking_ was clearly the last thing you were doing.”

I turned to Alcuin and whispered, “Do they usually argue like this?”

He shook his head. “Never. Mostly they just make each other laugh.”

I balled the coverlet in my small fists. Once again, I had proven myself flawed. “It’s my fault they are fighting. Because of Kushiel’s Dart.”

I strained to hear the rest of their argument. Lady Shahrizai was saying “We can’t have her fainting with fright every time I walk into a room.”

“What do you propose we do with her? I’m sure Valerian House would eagerly buy her _marque_ …”

Lady Shahrizai said very decisively, “ _No_.”

“That’s a passing odd protest coming from someone of your inclinations.”

“I won’t have her sent there. She’s Kushiel’s own Chosen, too precious to waste…”

Delaunay drawled back, “So, on that we are at least agreed.”

I said to Alcuin, tears dripping down my face, “They are going to send me away.”

He clutched my hand tightly. “They won’t, Phèdre. If Lady Shahrizai says you’re staying, you are. She has a will of iron and not even Delaunay would cross her once she’s made up her mind." 

The conversation in the hallway seemed to have quieted. It appeared Lord Delaunay and his lady had come to some sort of agreement.

Lady Shahrizai’s honeyed voice again; “Kushiel help you, Anafiel. You may one day come to regret sharing a house with an _anguisette_ and a Shahrizai.”

“Melisande, she’s a _child._ ”

“Not for much longer," she said softly. "You’d best let me handle this."

“If you insist. No doubt I shall be doing penance on my knees for my mistakes later.”

Lady Shahrizai let out a teasing laugh. “Hours and hours of it, I should think.” I colored at the thought that my lord Delaunay might actually yield to her. I had been raised in a house of Naamah, it is true, but somehow this felt altogether strange.

Lord Delaunay’s lady waltzed through my chamber door and perched herself elegantly on the very edge of my mattress. “Phèdre,” she breathed, and the sound of my name upon her lips nearly undid me.

“Yes, my lady?” I managed to squeak out in reply.

She closed her beautiful eyes and said, “We have had a less than auspicious first meeting. Because of the mark you bear as Kushiel’s Chosen and because of the desires written in my own blood, our natures will always attempt to set us at cross purposes.  That is how the gods made us, 'tis true. But neither are we slaves to our natures. Do you understand?”

I didn’t, honestly. “I’m not sure.”

My lady inched herself closer. “You will always fear me, Phèdre. In time…perhaps more than that. But I think you also long to please me, isn’t that so?”

I could not help but to answer. “I do.”

“Then you must fight the pricking of Kushiel’s Dart in my presence. For if you cannot do that, Phèdre, I cannot be your teacher and you cannot be my pupil,” she said, merciless in dispensing the harsh truth of the matter.

“I will try, my lady, I swear it! I do not wish to be sent away.” Tears again slipped from my eyes, dropping on the coverlet.

Melisande Shahrizai looked at me then and I knew she read the very fault lines of my soul, just like Alcuin had told me. She said simply, “I know.” My lady reached out and straightened my tangled ribbons and I fought hard not to tremble. “Shall we try again?” I nodded. “I will kiss you now, Phèdre, and this time you must not let Kushiel’s Dart carry you away. You may hold Alcuin’s hand if you like.” I did as she instructed and gripped my foster brother’s hand hard.

 “I’m here, Phèdre,” Alcuin whispered in encouragement. 

Lady Shahrizai looked down upon me and I felt her gaze pierce my heart like a spear as she played her trump card; “For if you fail, sweet Phèdre, I shall never be able to kiss you at all. And what a pity that would be.”

Before I could protest, she pressed her lips to my cheek, her kiss stinging against my skin like a lash. I felt at once hot and clammy all over. I squeezed Alcuin’s hand, determined not to let Kushiel’s Dart cheat me out of my happy home. Suddenly, I felt the oppressive red haze lift. I boldly let go Alcuin’s hand and flung my arms around Lady Shahrizai’s neck instead, hanging on for dear life. I could have sworn I heard something then, like the snapping of an arrow leaving its bowstring. In that moment, I was overcome by a kind of euphoria. And whether that was Kushiel’s Dart finding its mark or the filling of some other deep need, to this day, I know not.

Melisande untangled herself from me, and for the briefest moment her blue eyes seemed soft, devoid of their familiar sharpness. I noticed then that Lord Delaunay had come in the room. I searched the faces of my foster family and they were all smiling at me, proud at what I had done. Lady Shahrizai’s smile was the sweetest of all. “Well done, Phèdre,” she said.

Alcuin slipped his hand back into mine. And I watched as Lord Delaunay placed his hands upon his lady’s shoulders, stooping to plant a kiss on the dark crown of her head. She looked up at him and said, “Darling, I am not sure how you have done it, but you have made me foster-mother to an _anguisette_.” And then she burst into deep laughter, all propriety cast aside, laughing as if she could not stop. Lord Delaunay joined in. The joke was quite lost on Alcuin and me, but my lord and lady laughed and laughed until tears came into their eyes.

Lady Shahrizai composed herself and took my hand in hers, running her thumbnail lightly over that part of my palm Hyacinthe had once told me was my fate line. “We four shall do great things together,” she pronounced. I felt a feeling rise within me more heady than _joie_ as I looked at my new family. A feeling that had naught to do with Kushiel’s Dart, but a sense that some part of me that had broken the day mother, father, and brother had left me at the gates of Cereus House had at last been mended.  

I would like to say I sensed in that moment the long corridor of history stretching out before us and the roles we four were to play in shaping the future of Terre d’Ange. Truly, in the years to come I never knew whether Melisande played our game or we played hers- or some mixture of the two. In that moment, I felt only joy. 

For when love cast me out, 'twas cruelty took me as her own. 


End file.
